Melicious Details

I should have posted this weeks ago

so here's the link to the Huffington Post article written by Julia Moulden that mentions my role as a New Radical Entrepreneur.

Overdecorated Hair

I hate to run, swim, bike or attempt to hit a stationary or moving ball with a racquet, club or mallet. I hate bowling. I hate aerobics. I hate working out with weights.  Horseback riding would be OK, because horses are awesome animals, but it's a dirty a sport and I can't stand being dirty.  But even worse than I hate being dirty is that I really hate sweating.  And on top of the dirtiness and/or sweating that occurs during sports, most of them also create bad hair.  Either you have to wear a helmet (Good God, is anything less attractive?) or you have to do something else with your hair to keep it out of your face. 

But while watching womens' gymnastics at the Olympics, I came to the conclusion that these poor athletes have the most unfortunate hair challenges ever.  For some reason,they are required to use multiple kinds of clips, barretts, scrunchies and other crap ALL AT THE SAME TIME to accessorize their performance. Gymnastics is not dirty and does not even really appear to cause sweating, but I definitely would not do it because of their Hair Rules.

Even after the 12 year old Chinese girls won the gold, how could you even notice them wearing their shiny new medals when you are so distracted by what is happening on their heads?

Fresh Peach Pie

While trying to decide which desserts to share after dinner the other night, my friends and I starting talking about pie, and what kind of pie was our favorite. Mine is peach, but it has to be made with fresh peaches, and preferably it is the the peach sour cream pie that my mom used to make me at least once during the summer, because I've never tasted a peach pie as good as that one. I then volunteered that I'd personally never made a pie in my entire life - there are just too many steps, the opportunity for failure is so high, and also I really prefer to eat desserts that are made for me, not desserts I have to make for myself. And so making a pie is in the category of Tasks That Are Way Too Daunting, and I am certain this is exactly what would happen to me if I even attempted it.

Dog Names

If you want to come up with a clever and original name for your dog (like for example, Tango) this list will help you know what not to pick. 

I think it’s important that a dog’s name is easy to say both in a normal voice and a loud yelling voice, and that it is a name that you can mindlessly morph into something else for no explainable reason.  Tango is often called Mango. And sometimes Mango Pango Fandango.  I know.  It’s ridiculous.

Speaking of dog names, I had this conversation with my Dad on Father’s Day:

Dad (pointing to Tango):  What's that one's name?
Me:  Tango.
Dad:  I can never remember that one's name.
Me (looking at my mom):  Let me know when he says that about me.

If you have any suggestions for the new list I am creating of Really Super Creative Dog Names, please send them to me!

Personalized License Plate

The license plate of the car in front of me at the car wash today said PUPICAB. Is it just me who reads it as PUBIC CAB?

Taos. The Cure for Writer's Block.

Do you like the snappy new blog design?  And the fact that I am actually writing my blog again?   I had been having my own version of a climate crisis, my creativity flopping around like a fish in a dry riverbed, floundering through a summer drought.  But then I attended Jennifer Louden’s Writers Spa in Taos last week and came back feeling energized and creatively revived.

I was with 30 women from the US and Canada. We talked, we laughed, we wrote, we found a new voice or reconnected with an old one.  Taos spun it’s magic around us for a week leaving us grateful and richer for the experience.

The workshop/spa was at the  Mabel Dodge Luhan House, which is walking distance from the Taos plaza.  Mabel was quite the colorful babe, living a raucous and unconventional life in the early 20th century, and her home is now designated a historic landmark.  Historic in this case meaning a house with small dark rooms, loud creaking floors and ceilings (you can experience both simultaneously if you’re in a first floor room like I was!), finicky plumbing and all kinds of bugs and insects.

$66 divided by 3, tip included

Des and I met LeAnn for lunch today and had a blast gossiping and reminiscing about our days at HP, when LeAnn had pink hair and wore leopard-print everything.  It's been years and years since we were last together, but we just picked up where we left off.  When it came time to pay, Des grabbed the check, launched her iPhone calculator and announced that we each owed $22.  A few minutes later, I noticed Des had pile of money in her hands and a perplexed look on her face. 

Des:  I have too much money here!
Me:  Really?  I put in $22 and LeAnn put in $25...
Des:  I put in $60.
Me:  laughing and snorting iced tea out my nose
Des:  I told you I'm not good at math!

Note to all Des' friends:  she is no longer allowed to spend her cash without a chaperone.

Camo

Tango doesn't realize his collar shows.

Tango Time

Yesterday morning the Dyrdogs were having our daily breakfast club meeting (which means watching the Today show while I make little bite-sized pieces of my peanut butter covered english muffins for an audience of three adoring terriers sitting at my feet) and Matt Lauer was doing a segment in Buenos Aires, featuring one of the things Buenos Aires is most famous for, the tango.  As in the tango, not Tango, but it's confusing if you're a dog whose never been to Argentina.  Every time Matt said the word tango, Tango would snap his head around and look directly at the TV with an annoyed expression on his face like WHAT??  Matt also talked about a store in Buenos Aires that carries hundreds of styles of gorgeous hand-made tango (again Matt is scowled at by the border terrier face) shoes.  You go in to the store, tell them your size, and they just start bringing fabulous shoes out for you to try on.  I'm planning a trip to Argentina right away.

And although this looks like a photo of Tango peeing on Natalie Portman, I swear it is not him.  We like Natalie Portman.  If Tango was going to pee on a celebrity, we would have picked Paris Hilton.

Defining Fine

I am taking an online creative writing class which is mostly fun and the online part is the best because of the whole no one knows if you're a dog on the internet thing.

After submitting my second 500 word assignment the professor provided really eloquent feedback on "what wasn't working for him".  He used a lot of words but I will just summarize for you:  I write phrases that sound like advertising as opposed to fine writing. 

You mean fine writing does not start with a strong value proposition, followed by three benefit statements and then concludes with a compelling call to action?  Ooooooh.

Thank you so much for pointing that out, Mr. Stanford Professor and Wallace Stegner Fellow in Poetry. I hadn't realized that over 20 years of marketing experience in technology companies had sucked every last bit of fine writing out of me.

I know for sure I could write a FINE powerpoint presentation of rehashed marketing objectives.  And honestly, I think some of the pieces I've co-authored with Des (i.e., Letter from the CEO re: Workforce Reduction) were very, very finely written. 

You thought that letter was actually written by the CEO?   Um. No. 

It was actually written by Des and I.  And all of our helpers.  We had helpers in Legal who didn't like forward-looking statements. We had helpers in HR who didn't want to include details on severance packages because "we are a global company and each package will be different depending on what country the employee lives in.  And in the U.K. it is called Garden Leave."  We had helpers in Engineering who thought that NO actual engineers should be laid off, but instead given six months to hang out and find another job in the company, "so just lay off people in all the other departments."  We had a helper executive whose mother was an English professor and we had another helper executive who didn't agree with any of the other helpers.

Including all those helpers' comments and creating a letter that wasn't 12 paragraphs long (because really, who reads that crap?) - come on. That was some mighty fine writing.  If it wasn't marked Company Confidential - For Internal Use Only I would attach it here so you could see.